#1 humor site on the 'net

Democrats Begin Vote Recount in Wisconsin

Searching for signs of life in the Democrat Party

Democrats Begin Vote Recount in Wisconsin thanks to Tim Smith

QuotaBills
Vote early and vote often. - Al Capone

The bad guys always get a vote. - Navy saying

A week is a long time in politics. - Harold Wilson

There is no gambling like politics. - Benjamin Disraeli

Politics makes strange postmasters. - Kin Hubbard

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

A penny saved is a Congressional oversight. - Hal Luyah

Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it. - Unknown

Guns have only two enemies - rust and politicians. - Unknown

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

Bulldozing: Going to sleep during a political speech. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politicians can't manage. All they can do is talk. - Donald Trump

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Sudafed: Brought litigation against a government official - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest thing in the nicest way. - Isaac Goldberg

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. - Milton Berle

An honest politician is one who when he's bought stays bought. - Simon Cameron

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Tex Guinan

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. - Henry Kissinger

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth. - Henrik Ibsen

I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible. - Dan Quayle

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

North of the 49th parallel we value equality; south of it, they treasure freedom. - Michael Adams

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. - Earl Wilson

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Caskie Stinnett

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

A man may be a pessimistic determinist before lunch, and an optimistic believer in the will's freedom after it. - Aldous Huxley

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

Freedom is a personal and lonely battle; and one faces down the fears of today so that those of tomorrow might be engaged. - Alice Walker

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political view. - Margaret Atwood

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

A mere 40 years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about. - Newt Gingrich

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. - Viktor Frankl

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock

Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments. - Isaac Asimov


Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test

House 'Broke'rage

Trampoline Apartment

Behind Every Man

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes

Need A Cigarette?

CardboardZilla

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts