#1 humor site on the 'net

Deadneck Repairs

How not to extend service box electrical cables

Deadneck Repairs thanks to Wayne Nowazek

How Redneck electricians become one-time arc welders - extending a 3 phase electrical conductor that was cut too short

QuotaBills
Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

The greatest danger to our future is apathy. - Jane Goodall

With great power comes great electricity bill. - Unknown

Never was anything great achieved without danger. - Niccolo Machiavelli

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Habits: 1. Cobwebs that become cables; 2. Trait jackets. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

A person's fears are lighter when the danger is at hand. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

The man who is in real danger is the man who thinks he is perfectly safe. - James M. Barrie

A malignant sore throat is a danger; a malignant throat not sore is worse. - American Proverb

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight. - George Gobel

A pedestrian is a man in danger of his life. A walker is a man in possession of his soul. - David McCord

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety. - Abraham Maslow

Good friends are like shock absorbers. They help you take the lumps and bumps on the road of life. - Frank Tyger

Until we extend the circle of our compassion to all living things, we will not ourselves find peace. - Albert Schweitzer

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward. - Jean Paul Richter

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

It's because you're scared that there's danger.
But could she manage not to be scared anymore? - Johanna Verweerd

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Plenty of people who survive tragedies end up ambivalent about danger--frightened by it, yet strangely drawn to it. - Keith Ablow

To my younger self, I would say unless you're literally in danger, ask forgiveness instead of asking permission. - Jonathan Van Ness

A man who has been in danger,
When he comes out of it forgets his fears,
And sometimes he forgets his promises. - Euripides

There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid. - Frank L Baum

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that our aim is too low and we reach it. - Michelangelo

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Nothing prepared me for being this awesome. It's kind of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light. - Bill Murray

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

One would be in less danger
From the wiles of the stranger,
If one’s own kin and kith
Were more fun to be with. - Ogden Nash

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis" is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity. - John F Kennedy

The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it. - Thucydides


Back Asswards

Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone