#1 humor site on the 'net

Cowboy Dinner Bell

Chowing down at the Old West Cafe in Grapevine, Texas

Cowboy Dinner Bell thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Dinner is poured. - WC Fields

The name Pavlov rings a bell. - Unknown

I'm having an old friend for dinner. - The Silence of the Lambs

He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner. - Benjamin Franklin

Out for lunch. If not back by five, out for dinner also. - Unknown

Dishtemper: What family members suffer from after dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Electroplate: What atomic scientists eat their dinner from - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes. - David Coleman

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Washable: What a cowboy does, very carefully, with soap and water - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. - Oscar Wilde

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate. - Unknown

My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Underachiever: An employee who has squatters right on the far left side of the bell curve - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This momentous question, like a fire bell in the night, awakened and filled me with terror. - Thomas Jefferson

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unlucky: Crossing the street to avoid walking under a ladder and getting hit by a truck full of horseshoes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd

It is very vulgar to talk about one's business. Only people like stockbrokers do that, and then merely at dinner parties. - Oscar Wilde

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes