Colon Celery

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Caring is the essence of nursing. - Jean Watson

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon. - Kurt Vonnegut

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Fiber: Edible wood-pulp said to aid digestion and prolong life, so that we might enjoy another six or eight years in which to consume wood-pulp - Daffynitions joe-ks.com