#1 humor site on the 'net

Codfather

I'm gonna make him a fishy offer he can't refuse

Codfather thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
All men are equal before fish. - Herbert Hoover

There are plenty more fish in the sea. - English Proverb

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. - Gloria Steinem

Be patient and calm; no one can catch a fish with anger. - Herbert Hoover

At high tide, fish eat ants; at low tide, ants eat fish. - Thai Saying

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

All my life I thought air was free... until I bought a bag of chips. - Unknown

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No human being, however great or powerful, was ever so free as a fish. - John Ruskin

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

Clement Attlee reminds me of a dead fish before it has had time to stiffen. - George Orwell

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish. You spoil it with too much poking. - Lao-Tzu

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

I've had a very good stretch with startup investing, and I think it's very important to know when to hold your chips. - Tim Ferriss

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.


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