#1 humor site on the 'net

Codfather

I'm gonna make him a fishy offer he can't refuse

Codfather thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

Holy Mackerel: Fish served at Church supper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Love is the net where hearts are caught like fish. - Muhammad Ali

In the cookie of life, friends are chocolate chips. - Salman Rushdie

One can think of life after the fish is in the canoe. - Hawaii Proverb

Don't bargain for fish which are still in the water. - India Proverb

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. - Mark Twain

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Mermaid: 1. A deep she fish; 2. A bottomless girl in a topless suit. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming. - John Steinbeck

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

I felt sorry for myself because I had no hands until I met a man who had no chips. - Kent Andersson

Chips have little nutritional value. That's why you need to eat the whole bag. - Bill Murray

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after. - Henry David Thoreau

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Snaccident: Eating an entire pizza, box of chocolates, or family size bag of chips by mistake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give a man a fish and you have fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you have fed him for a lifetime. - Chinese Proverb

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

I think it's my adventure, my trip, my journey, and I guess my attitude is, let the chips fall where they may. - Leonard Nimoy

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Fisherman: A sportsman, who sometimes catches a big fish by patience, sometimes by luck, but most often by the tale - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Unless he doesn't like sushi, then you also have to teach him to cook. - Auren Hoffman

Unsporting: Any fishing technique that has as its chief object the capture of fish rather than the accumulation of fishing equipment - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Snow Geese

Family Birthday Reminder

The Circular File

Pair Tree

'Top Down' Snow Removal

Winter Kayaking

Mustache Breeze

Something Positive

2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Snowstorm Closure

Cold Cross Bunny

Motorcycle For Sale

She's A Keeper

Winter Ready

Next Week Plans

Powerful Wind

Dr. OMG

Wolf Chase

Government Snow Plow

Your In America

Scenery Cut and Paste

Canadian Fridge

Snowmen Protest

Winter Traffic Lights