Christmas Babies

Genius is sorrow's child. - John Adams

Diaper backward spells repaid. - Marshall McLuhan

Every child begins the world again. - Henry David Thoreau

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

I learned how to change a cloth diaper on a raccoon. - Nikki Reed

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

The great man is one who never loses his child’s heart. - Mencius

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

Four very powerful words to say to your child: "I believe in you." - Kevin Heath

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

The most important question in the world is, "Why is the child crying?" - Alice Walker

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things. - Plato

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

It is an act of love to say, "I believe in you as my child, and you don't need my help." - Peter Buffett

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

Every child should have an occasional pat on the back as long as it is applied low enough and hard enough. - Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

Play is a vital learning medium for a child. In a sense play is his work. And he discovers knowledge for himself. - Raymond Moore

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day. - George Foreman

I can change a diaper in 30 seconds flat. I set the new one beneath the old one. That way, it's just wipe and pull the flap over. - Drew Brees

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

The heart of who I am as a person and as a man is forgiveness, after forgiving my father for a lot of things that were done when I was a child. - Tyler Perry

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan