BigFoot Caught On Tape

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. - Unknown

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop. - G.M. Weilacher

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

I'd have thrashed him to within an inch of his life, but I didn't have a tape measure. - Groucho Marx

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

Every once in a while, someone will mail me a single popcorn kernel that didn't pop. I'll get out a fresh kernel, tape it to a piece of paper and mail it back to them. - Orville Redenbacher

You are priests, not social or political leaders. Let us not be under the illusion that we are serving the Gospel through an exaggerated interest in the wide field of temporal problems. - Pope John Paul II

I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank." - Steven Wright