Best Office Prank

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not afraid of spiders; I've had worse in my bed. - Donna Lynn Hope

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

You do well to consider the office your own, for you bought it. - Julius Caesar's father

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. - Aesop

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours. - Arthur Baer

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office. - Thomas Jefferson

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. - Louis XIV

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

When people ask if I do my own stunts, I always answer, "Not on purpose." - Billy Bob Thornton

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not professional anymore. - Jeff Foxworthy

Apparently, as a kid, I used to eat spiders. Maybe there's some Freudian significance behind that. - Matt Smith

I have far too many skeletons in my closet to think about any sort of serious mention of public office. - David Cone

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it because when they fired me, I had to show up at work anyway. - Wally Wang

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

The Brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain

Can't figure women. Sometimes they're afraid of a spider, other times they're not afraid to stand right up to the devil. - Donal Harding

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him. - Samuel Johnson

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump