#1 humor site on the 'net

Baby's Eviction Notice

Birth announcement pinned to the playpen of a one year old

Baby's Eviction Notice thanks to Emery Pettigrove

Every good and perfect give comes from above. - James 1:17

Baby's Eviction Notice thanks to Emery Pettigrove

The littlest feet make the biggest footprints in our hearts.

QuotaBills
Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Unclaimed Baby Sheep: No man's lamb - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

Dapper Diaper: Well-dressed baby underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? - Steven Wright

Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg

Kidnapping: The short snatches of rest a parent gets when baby sleeps - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol

The most terrifying thing any woman can say to me is, 'Notice anything different?' - Mike Vanatta

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice. - A.W. Tozer

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer. - Andy Warhol

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist