#1 humor site on the 'net

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

Pedal to the metal on Highway 401

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club thanks to Emery Pettigrove

Keeping a safe following distance is by far one of the easiest, yet most commonly broken rules of defensive driving. The two-second rule is a rule of thumb by which a driver should maintain a safe following distance at any speed. Apparently Ontario drivers haven’t heard about this concept yet...

QuotaBills
Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

The road is hard, and you have to get accustomed to it. - Miranda Lambert

The road was new to me, as roads always are going back. - Sarah O Jewett

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

The road to the City of Emeralds is paved with yellow brick. - L. Frank Baum

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

I've never had a clear road map. When things come along, I benefit. - Greg Kinnear

If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there. - Lewis Carroll

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

The Bible does not give us a road map for life, but it does give us a compass. - Gordon S. Jackson

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

An opening statement is like a guide or a road map. It's a very delicate thing. - Johnnie Cochran

We're all pilgrims on the same journey, but some pilgrims have better road maps. - Nelson DeMille

Beneath this slab
John Brown is stowed;
He watched the ads
And not the road. - Ogden Nash

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

The middle of the road is where the white line is - and that's the worst place to drive. - Robert Frost

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

He who would arrive at the appointed end must follow a single road and not wander through many ways. - Seneca

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

Put least trust in him who is foremost to praise you,
Nor judge of a road till it draw to the end. - John B O'Reilly

Every road you take has a destination. What road are you on and will it take you where you really want to go? - Unknown

All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk. - Ayn Rand

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence. - Lin Yutang

Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward. - Brandon Sanderson

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger


Someone Is Upset

Turkey Popcorn Dressing

Redneck Outhouse Throne

I'll Be Right There

How Not To Prop Start Your Plane

Young Superman

When Not To Stop Too Fast

Bustache

CheckMate

Plane Oops!

Sand Dive

Manitoba Home Security System

WinDoor

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Mirror Solution

Beerbulance

Handicap Motorcyclist

Filling Up Is OverRated

Coin Stacking

I Miss Being A Tree

Stoned In The Garden

Looking For Something?

LadyNet

Louvre Paintings