America These Days

When good Americans die they go to Paris. - Oscar Wilde

God Bless America, written by Milton Berlin. - Archie Bunker

The United States has much to offer the Third World War. - Ronald Reagan

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

The American Way of life, si! The American Way of death, no! - Archie Bunker

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

The hyphen, that's the most un-American thing in the world. - Woodrow Wilson

Europe was created by history. America was created by philosophy. - Margaret Thatcher

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. - H L Mencken

Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball. - Jacques Barzun

Any lack of confidence in the economic future of the United States is foolish. - Herbert Hoover

The problem is that Americans care more about saving whales than saving males. - Warren Farrell

The number one disease of business leaders in North America is procrastination. - Napoleon Hill

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

Vietnam was lost in the living rooms of America, not on the battlefields of Vietnam. - Marshall McLuhan

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

In America the President reigns for four years and journalism governs forever and ever. - Oscar Wilde

America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense, human rights invented America. - Jimmy Carter

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle. - Alexis de Tocqueville

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. - Will Rogers

Every American should have above average income, and my administration is going to see they get it. - Bill Clinton

A truly American sentiment recognizes the dignity of labor and the fact that honor lies in honest toil. - Grover Cleveland

Folks who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. - Milton Berle

Fischer, the great American chess champion, famously said, 'Chess is life.' I would say, 'Pi is life.' - Daniel Tammet

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be President of the United States. - George W. Bush

Canada is the essence of not being. Not English, not American, it is the mathematic of not being. And a subtle flavour - we're more like celery as a flavour. - Mike Myers

Americans have been remarkably devoted to the capacity for belief, to idealism. That's why we get into trouble all the time. We're always viewed as naive. - A. Bartlett Giamatti

Americans admire a people who can scratch a desert and produce a garden. The Israelis have shown qualities that Americans identify with: guts, patriotism, idealism, a passion for freedom. - Richard M Nixon

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli. - George H.W. Bush