America These Days

The best of America drifts to Paris. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

When good Americans die they go to Paris. - Oscar Wilde

There are no American infidels in Baghdad. - Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

Mexico's making a fortune off the United States. - Donald Trump

United Nations: Where America feeds the hands that bite it. - Gregory Nunn

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley

The most important question in American cinema is "When is lunch?" - Tommy Lee Jones

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes. - Will Rogers

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. - P.T. Barnum

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

In America the President reigns for four years and journalism governs forever and ever. - Oscar Wilde

America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense, human rights invented America. - Jimmy Carter

The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. - George Carlin

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

The joke was lost on the foreigner - guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. - Mark Twain

There are many men of principle in both parties in America, but there is no party of principle. - Alexis de Tocqueville

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

I can remember when Democrats believed that it was the duty of America to fight for freedom over tyranny. - Zell Miller

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians,
and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. - Groucho Marx

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. - Gore Vidal

I have made the tough decisions, always with an eye toward the bottom line. Perhaps it's time America was run like a business. - Donald Trump

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. - Thomas Jefferson

To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be President of the United States. - George W. Bush

America is exceptional in combining standard great-power realism with extravagant idealism about the country's redemptive role in creating international order. - Michael Ignatieff

If the United States of America or Britain is having elections, they don't ask for observers from Africa or from Asia. But when we have elections, they want observers. - Nelson Mandela

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. - Rita Mae Brown

American Women: How they mortify the flesh in order to make it appetizing! Their beauty is a vast industry, their enduring allure a discipline which nuns or athletes might find excessive. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them we are missing. - Gamal Abdul Nasser

Whereas our ancestors (not of choice) were the first successful cultivators of the wilds of America, we their descendants feel ourselves entitled to participate in the blessings of her luxuriant soil. - Richard Allen