#1 humor site on the 'net

America These Days

Priorities and Trends - where Americans gather today

America These Days thanks to Lisa Crawford

QuotaBills
The best of America drifts to Paris. - F Scott Fitzgerald

America can't beat anyone anymore. - George Clooney

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

An asylum for the sane would be empty in America. - George Bernard Shaw

America is a land where men govern, but women rule. - John M Brown

American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense. - Ed Howe

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. - Gore Vidal

Americans love popcorn, and their love doesn't quit. - Rosecrans Baldwin

America is the land of permanent waves and impermanent wives. - Brendan Behan

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Europe was created by history. America was created by philosophy. - Margaret Thatcher

No one flower can every symbolize this nation. America is a bouquet. - William Safire

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

I found a country [America] with thirty-two religions and only one sauce. - Charles-Maurice de Talleyrand-Perogord

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

America forms the longest and straightest bone in the earth's skeleton. - Ellsworth Huntington

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes. - Will Rogers

Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball. - Jacques Barzun

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. - P.T. Barnum

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up. - Oscar Wilde

I do know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens

One third of the people in the United States promote while the other two thirds provide. - Will Rogers

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center. - Jon Stewart

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

The largest party in America is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It's the party of non-voters. - Robert Reich

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

The courtrooms of America all too often have Piper Cub advocates trying to handle the controls of Boeing 747 litigation. - Warren E. Burger

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

The politicians in Washington are spending trillions of dollars of our money. When are Americans going to stand up and say enough is enough? - Joe Wurzelbacher

The average Hollywood film star's ambition is to be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend. - Katharine Hepburn

Americans have been remarkably devoted to the capacity for belief, to idealism. That's why we get into trouble all the time. We're always viewed as naive. - A. Bartlett Giamatti

America is exceptional in combining standard great-power realism with extravagant idealism about the country's redemptive role in creating international order. - Michael Ignatieff

It was self-serving politicians who convinced recent generations of Americans that we could all stand in a circle with our hands in each other's pockets and somehow get rich. - Paul Harvey

Whereas our ancestors (not of choice) were the first successful cultivators of the wilds of America, we their descendants feel ourselves entitled to participate in the blessings of her luxuriant soil. - Richard Allen


Harrison Ford

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Tower of Pisa Restorer

Glamour Training

What Did She Say?

I'm Here!

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign

Tooth Ferry

Snail On The Run

Quarantine Response

Mistake Variations

Wood Not Be Safe

Junkyard Art

Advice for the Cat

Life Is Like Photography

Baptised Trespassers

European Men - History Timeline

Raxe