Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s.
A grandfather is a man, and a grandmother is a lady.
Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on cracks.
They don’t say, “Hurry up.”
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don’t have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like “Why isn’t God married?” and “How come dogs chase cats?”
When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
They know we should have a snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.
Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him.
It’s funny when they bend over - you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown
A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring
Grandfather: A grandchild's press agent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown
There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld
I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp
You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox
The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle
Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown
I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker
To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown
Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher
Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson
Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill
I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra
My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss
My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng
If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault
He that has no fools, knaves, nor beggars in his family was begot by a flash of lightning. - Thomas Fuller
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson
If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown
You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan
I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash
Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein
I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown
The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith
The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham
There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson
I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen
Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller
In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia
If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey
Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer