Joe-ks.com
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About Grandparents
8 year olds write a paper about their grandparents
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s.
A grandfather is a man, and a grandmother is a lady.
Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on cracks.
They don’t say, “Hurry up.”
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don’t have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like “Why isn’t God married?” and “How come dogs chase cats?”
When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
They know we should have a snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.
Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him.
It’s funny when they bend over - you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
A grandfather is a man, and a grandmother is a lady.
Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colours of the flowers and also why we shouldn’t step on cracks.
They don’t say, “Hurry up.”
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don’t have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like “Why isn’t God married?” and “How come dogs chase cats?”
When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.
They know we should have a snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.
Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him.
It’s funny when they bend over - you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown
Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben
Grandfather: A grandchild's press agent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Goat Herder: A person who likes to work with kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield
Dishtemper: What family members suffer from after dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A grandfather carries pictures where his money used to be. - Joe-kster
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck
Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar
Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Passing Tone: Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller
Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner
Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler
I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel
A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett
A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson
We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane
Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey
My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost
I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen
If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown
Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben
Grandfather: A grandchild's press agent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Goat Herder: A person who likes to work with kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield
Dishtemper: What family members suffer from after dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A grandfather carries pictures where his money used to be. - Joe-kster
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck
Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar
Water Hazard: Giving the kids too much to drink before a road trip - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Passing Tone: Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller
Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown
I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy
The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner
Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler
I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel
A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffett
A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson
We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane
Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey
My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa
I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon
All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman
Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker
I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes
As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost
I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen
If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah
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