#1 humor site on the 'net

Woman Argument

Ever argue with a female lawyer?

Woman Argument thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
The law is silent during war. - Cicero

Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. - Charles Lamb

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

Writing laws is easy, but governing is difficult. - Leo Tolstoy

Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Lawyers are men whom we hire to protect us from lawyers. - Elbert Hubbard

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

Sudafed: Brought litigation against a government official - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Unknown

The laws of nature are but the mathematical thoughts of God. - Euclid

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. - Wayne W. Dyer

Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. - Mark Twain

All the honesty in the world ain't legal tender for a loaf of bread. - Josh Billings

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

The duty of a judge is to administer justice, but his practice is to delay it. - Jean de la Bruyere

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Lawyers are like foxes, small and innocuous, but all the time stealthily sniffing the air. - Michael O'Sullivan

There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy. - Goldie Hawn

Most of the dishonest lawyers are the product of dishonest clients - the demand creates the supply. - Morris Salem

Beware of lawyers and consultants and people who do not take risks and who do not get their hands dirty. - Felix G Rohatyn

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. - Plato

Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes. - Robert Kennedy

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Written laws are like spider's webs; they will catch the weak and poor, but would be torn in pieces by the rich and powerful. - Anacharsis

Morality cannot be legislated, but behavior can be regulated. Judicial decrees may not change the heart, but they can restrain the heartless. - Martin Luther King Jr.

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman


Don't Want Your Child To Text And Drive?

Redneck Porch Lights

Party Frog

Cloud Computing

Mobile Phones

Hair Safety

Ice Cream Clouds

Software Cake

Rolo Mask

HoverCraft

Unspoken Signs

Ice Cone Cat

Nutcracker Suite - Chinese Version

Cell Phone Book

Pointless

Shark Steaks

Alligator Mating

Gun Exhaust

Chinese Cooking

Canadian Trap

Meal Squat

Tear-Paper Wall

Pupcakes

Restroom Signs