#1 humor site on the 'net

Wine Bibber

Oenophilia poetry - a love poem of wine

Wine Bibber thanks to Robert Service

Wine Bibber by Robert Service (1907)

I would rather drink than eat,
And though I superbly sup,
Food, I feel, can never beat
Delectation of the cup.
Wine it is that crowns the feast;
Fish and fowl and fancy meat
Are of my delight the least;
I would rather drink than eat.

Though no Puritan I be,
And have doubts of Kingdom Come,
With those fellows I agree
Who deplore the Demon Rum.
Gin and brandy I decline,
And I shy at whisky neat;
But give me rare vintage wine,
Gad! I'd rather drink than eat.

Food surfeit is of the beast;
Wine is from the gods a gift.
All from prostitute to priest
Can attest to its uplift.
Green and garnet glows the vine;
Grapes grow plump in happy heat;
Gold and ruby winks the wine...
Come! Let's rather drink than eat.

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

That one kind of grapes on my nerves. - Archie Bunker

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor


Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down

Chili Rub

Tire Rotation

Political Promise Hauler

Steering Wheel For Couples

Confined By Walls

Moon Descent

Redneck Selfie Stick

1957 Woolworth Menu

Cops Beating A Black Man in NYC

The New Norm

Police Car Of The Year