#1 humor site on the 'net

Wine Advent Calendar

Christmas preparation for wine connoisseurs

Wine Advent Calendar thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Oenophiles (also known as wine aficionados or connoisseurs) are people who appreciate or collect wine, particularly grape wines from specific regions, varietal types, or methods of manufacture.

QuotaBills
In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

What gets scheduled gets done. - Michael Hyatt

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Tomorrow is only found in the calendar of fools. - Og Mandino

No date on the calendar is as important as tomorrow. - Roy W Howard

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Pantomime is a big thing in the cultural calendar of my country. - Alan Cumming

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

I don't wait for the calendar to figure out when I should live life. - Gene Simmons

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress. - Charles Kettering

Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. - Charles Richards

'Next time!' In what calendar are kept the records of those next times which never come? - Helen Hunt Jackson

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

You have to calendar time for yourself even if you have no idea what you're going to do with it. - Susie Bright

If I had my way, I would remove January from the calendar altogether and have an extra July instead. - Roald Dahl

The friend that always finds time to spend with you without consulting his or her calendar is a true friend. - Ellen J. Barrier

I refuse to believe in three things: cash, clock, and calendar. You should never be enslaved by these three. - Sharad Sagar

You should run your life not by the calendar but how you feel, and what you're interests are and ambitions. - John Glenn

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar. - Robert Brault

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

How much replay do we want? Because if you start doing it from the first inning to the ninth inning, you may have to time the game with a calendar. - Joe Torre

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event. - Oscar Wilde

Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant. - Washington Irving

If forensic analysts confiscated your calendar and e-mail records and Web browsing history for the past six months, what would they conclude are your core priorities? - Chip Heath

If the soup had been as warm as the wine, and the wine as old as the fish, and the fish as young as the maid, and the maid as willing as the hostess, it would have been a very good meal. - Unknown


Sun Tan Sales

Ice Age Cake

Wailea Splendour

Me No Study

Peter Cotton Ale

Social Distancing Champ

GPS Directions

Secret Exit

Clippendales

Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone

My Time

Algebra Relationship

Mask Shortage

Exit Not Found

Early Shave

Dementia Purse

Quarantine Response

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt