#1 humor site on the 'net

Wet Floor Suspect

Be careful when stepping on the floor she just mopped

Wet Floor Suspect thanks to Emery Pettigrove

QuotaBills
Excitement to riot - Archie Bunker

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

He who has reaped the profits has committed the crime. - Seneca

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

A benefit of any job is laughter. It should never be a crime to have fun on the job. It may be a crime not to. - Terry Paulson

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


Mexorcist

Vegetarian MissSteak

VW Owner

Zoo Invitation

Robbie Knievel Tickets

Carb Cutter

Women's Rights

False Teeth

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rabbit or Duck?

Radar Replacement

I Shoot People!

Evolution and Philosophy

Owl Get Around To It

Redneck Piton

The World Is Going Down The Drain

First Dodge Ram

Moldy Bible

Aussie Definition of 'Lucky'

Church on Wheels

Hungry Tree

How We Played Online Before The Internet

Soda Bottle Boat

Princess Parking