#1 humor site on the 'net

Wet Floor Suspect

Be careful when stepping on the floor she just mopped

Wet Floor Suspect thanks to Emery Pettigrove

QuotaBills
The crime of loving is forgetting. - Maurice Chevalier

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

Marchin' in all the peace riots. - Archie Bunker

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

Suspicion often creates what it suspects. - C S Lewis

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

He who has reaped the profits has committed the crime. - Seneca

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


Koalified

How Much Time Left

Expandable Equation

Devoted Husband

Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway