#1 humor site on the 'net

Well Trained Pencil

New mechanical tracking pencil - lead to lead

Well Trained Pencil thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Tunnel vision for the little train that could

QuotaBills
Every artist was first an amateur. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm proud to be a railway modeler. - Rod Stewart

What an artist the world is losing in me. - Nero

An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one. - Charles Horton Cooley

Mournful and yet grand is the destiny of the artist. - Franz Liszt

To the artist there is never anything ugly in nature. - August Rodin

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

The job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery. - Francis Bacon

An artist is not paid for his labor but for his vision. - James M Whistler

The immature artist imitates. The mature artist steals. - Lionel Trilling

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? - George Carlin

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. - Charles Barkley

They couldn't find the artist, so they hung the picture. - Unknown

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The role of the artist today is to defend feeling against the machine. - Marty Rubin

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. - Emile Zola

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before. - G K Chesterton

There is a light at the end of the tunnel... hopefully its not a freight train! - Mariah Carey

Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter. - Oscar Wilde

Copy nature and you infringe on the work of our Lord. Interpret nature and you are an artist. - Jacques Lipchitz

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

In the cycle of a great civilization, the artist begins as priest, and ends as a clown or buffoon. - Malcolm Muggeridge

All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought. - Robert Breault

A creative artist works on his next composition because he was not satisfied with his previous one. - Dmitri Shostakovich

Because I'm an artist, I can't ever consider myself a nihilist, so I suppose I'm optimistic. - Marilyn Manson

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

That terrible mood of depression of whether it's any good or not is what is known as The Artist's Reward. - Ernest Hemingway

I'm grateful that I never was that senior athlete who realized she'd done nothing but train all her life. - Clara Hughes

It's like running a marathon race. We train all hours of the day. When you are taking a bath, you are thinking of the flight. - Kalpana Chawla

An intellectual is a man who says a simple thing in a difficult way; an artist is a man who says a difficult thing in a simple way. - Charles Bukowski

An artist is a man of action, whether he creates a personality, invents an expedient, or finds the issue of a complicated situation. - Joseph Conrad

If a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you... but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump. - Andrew Vachss

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush. - Sylvester Stallone

When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. - Corrie Ten Boom

I love power. But it is as an artist that I love it. I love it as a musician loves his violin, to draw out its sounds and chords and harmonies. - Napoleon Bonaparte

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


Treadmill Workout

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Mask Not Your Country

Sun Protection

Multi-Motor Motorcycle

Your In America

Mexican Repair Shop

You're CuTe

Don't Be A Stick In The Mud

Wake Up Alarm

Mr. Dressup II

Gangsta

Tiring Tire

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Transmission Line Parallel Bars

Water Skiing in Russia

Why Men Shouldn't Take Messages

Spot the Snow Leopard

Open Too Long

Rap Is Like Scissors

Ball Bait

Deluxe Peanut Butter Jam Sandwich

Topping The Charts

Ring Leader