Webster's First Dictionary

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. - Helena Rubinstein

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. - John Gray

I was with book, as a woman is with child. - C S Lewis

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Trim Figures: What women do when they tell their age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. - Steve Martin

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. - Brendan Francis

Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another. - H L Mencken

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order. - Jean Cocteau

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward