Webster's First Dictionary

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Man has his will, but woman has her way. - Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. - H L Mencken

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40. - Unknown

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

When I passed 40 I dropped pretence, 'cause men like women who got some sense. - Maya Angelou

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression. - C S Lewis

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. - John C Maxwell

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward