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Webster's First Dictionary

And what's that supposed to mean?

Webster's First Dictionary thanks to Emery Pettigrove

How to get along with your wife

QuotaBills
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

The woman that deliberates is lost. - Joseph Addison

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

I hate women because they always know where things are. - Voltaire

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. - Stanley Baldwin

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Extravagance: Anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. - Francesca M. Cancian

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

If a woman says, 'Do what you want', do not do what you want. Stand still. Do not blink. Don't even breathe. Just play dead. - Unknown

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Husband Colors

Soccer Watch

Finger Lickin' Good!

Scottish Variant

Knight Room

FIFA HQ

Spot The Surfer

Finally Got The Sink Fixed

Antique iPhones

Spongebob Suarez

Auto Correct Passing

Computer Resuscitation

PonyTale

Husband of the Year

Child Disarma-meant

Ancient Greek Stormtrooper

Ferrous Wheel

Dese Are My Bebies

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Dog Kennel

Mom Posting

Flying is so Overrated

Too Short