#1 humor site on the 'net

Webster's First Dictionary

And what's that supposed to mean?

Webster's First Dictionary thanks to Emery Pettigrove

How to get along with your wife

QuotaBills
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

I represent the 'Wonder Woman' of the new world. - Gal Gadot

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40. - Unknown

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

Between man and woman there is little difference, but vive la difference. - French Proverb

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. - Don Herold

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

Here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them. - Unknown

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her. - C S Lewis

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who'd lost three husbands. - Kin Hubbard

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression. - C S Lewis

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


Pupkin Carving

Spooky Halloween House

Halloween Clouds

Eye Do

Halloween Pit Bull

Halloween Birth

Broom Size

Hobbit Halloween

Halloween Pie

Just Two Buddies Hanging Out

Jewbacca

Colour Wheel

Halloween Driver Costume

Book Cover Pumpkin

Cabin Illusion

Here Comes Baby

The Official Flag of 2020

Redneck DoorBells

Prison Olympics - Razor Wire High Jumping

Afghan Livestock Management

Elephant Hand

Venice on a Shoestring Budget

New Truck Key

Spiderman's Car