#1 humor site on the 'net

Warm Them Up

If you're cold, they're cold too

Warm Them Up thanks to Shawn Kennedy

Winter survival begins in the kitchen

Warm Them Up thanks to Shawn Kennedy

QuotaBills
Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

A wounded deer leaps the highest. - Emily Dickinson

Rabbit: Hare today, mink tomorrow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

Eternity is two people and a roast turkey. - James Dent

One man's goose is another man's dander. - Archie Bunker

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

What's good for the goose is good for the gander. - English Proverb

Hunting: the least honorable form of war on the weak. - Paul Richard

What good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness? - John Steinbeck

A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial. - Thomas Fuller

Ego: the fallacy whereby a goose thinks he's a swan. - Oscar Levant

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

What if my trousers are shabby and worn, they cover a warm heart. - Tom Masson

Hunting isn't just something I do. It's part of who I am. - Unknown

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

It is not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value. - Stephen Hawking

A friendship that like love is warm; A love like friendship, steady. - Thomas Moore

The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul. - Victor Hugo

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

All the statistics in the world can't measure the warmth of a smile. - Chris Hart

A goose flies by a chart the Royal Geographical Society could not improve. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

A great song should lift your heart, warm the soul and make you feel good. - Colbie Caillat

May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart. - Eskimo Proverb

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. - African Proverb

Sun salutations can energize and warm you, even on the darkest, coldest winter day. - Carol Krucoff

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game. - Paul Rodriguez

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. - William Glasser

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

Music brings a warm glow to my vision, thawing mind and muscle from their endless wintering. - Haruki Murakami

You know you're getting old when your idea of a hot, flaming desire is a barbecued steak. - Victoria Fabiano

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. - Doug Larson

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

In hunting - as in life - sometimes the thing you need most isn't the thing you went looking for. - Unknown

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth. - Virginia Satir

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. - Robert Bloch

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. - Kay Knudsen

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Edward Grey

When you realize you've made a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. - Unknown

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

Victory at all cost, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival. - Winston Churchill

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Happiness in this world, when it comes, comes incidentally. Make it the object of pursuit, and it leads us a wild-goose chase, and is never attained. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

What's my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait - I'm describing my bed again. - Bill Murray


Best Hands-On Coverage

Pressing Art

Mask Alternatives

Watch Out For Deer!

Chinese Music School

Student Driver

iPad Not

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

It Even Has A Chimney

Seal Survival

www: Wagtail Windscreen Wiper

Water Dancer

Shopping Wait-er

Flamingo Imposter

Goat Tree

Ontario Spring Dining

Empty Birdhouse

180 Degrees From Ordinary

How To Float

Redneck Tank Top

Grasping Shirt

Detroit Counterfeit Bill

Hazardous Delivery

Log Out - Here It Comes!