#1 humor site on the 'net

War of Worms

Another day fighting for your life

War of Worms thanks to Emery Pettigrove

Why it's good to do stretch exercises before eating a meal

QuotaBills
Bird House: Home Tweet Home. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

The littlest birds sing the prettiest songs. - Tanyas

Goose: A bird that supplies quills for writing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

It was so hot today I saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea. - Johnny Carson

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

Woodpecker: 1. A knocking bird; 2. A 17th Century prosthetic device. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Impeccable: 1. Having immunity to woodpeckers; 2. Hidden from birds. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

Unabated: 1. A fishhook without a worm; 2. A mousetrap without cheese. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Bookworm: A person who would rather read than eat, or a worm that would rather eat than read - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

Model Wife: One who, when she spades the garden, picks up the fish worms and saves them for her husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bring me a worm that can comprehend a man, and then I will show you a man who can comprehend the triune God. - John Wesley

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. - Robert Lynd

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm. - Bill Vaughan


Fishing With Moses

Expired Marriage

Goose Walkers

Minion HotHead

Christopher Walken

Greek Financial Path

Miss Afghanistan Finalists

Fawn Of You

Swimming in the Dead Sea

Redneck Beer Stacker

Hot Summer Days

mIndians

Mouthful Of Information

Happy Face Sandwich

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

'Pier' Pressure

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed