#1 humor site on the 'net

Walking The Dog

Days when Jethro is easier to handle than the poodle

Walking The Dog thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Dog walking tips

QuotaBills
The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Hiking in undiscovered places is a lot of fun. - Karolina Kurkova

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. - Bruce Feiler

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. - Steven Wright

wanderer, there is no path,
the path is made by walking. - Antonio Machado

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Hiking's not for everyone. Notice the wilderness is mostly empty. - Sonja Yoerg

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

The bodies in my floor all trusted someone. Now I walk on them to tea. - Victoria Schwab

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Walk boldly and wisely... there is a hand above that will help thee on. - Philip James Bailey

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

It's better to walk alone, than with a crowd going in the wrong direction. - Diane Grant

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

I'm not a walking extra in a Chekhov play; I'm no Slavic gloom or Irish gloom. - Orson Welles

A pedestrian is a man in danger of his life. A walker is a man in possession of his soul. - David McCord

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Drama does not just walk into our lives. Either we create it, invite it, or associate with it. - Brandi L. Bates

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

We will walk the path not of retribution or revenge but the path of reconciliation and forgiveness. - Mahatma Gandhi

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

The heights charm us, but the steps do not; with the mountain in our view we love to walk the plains. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

If I lose, I'll walk away and never feel bad because I did all I could. There was nothing more to do. - Joe Frazier

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. - William Arthur Ward

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

If you're walking down the right path and you're willing to keep walking, eventually you'll make progress. - Barack Obama

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Pilots take no special joy in walking: pilots like flying. Pilots generally take pride in a good landing, not in getting out of the vehicle. - Neil Armstrong

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia


Winter Greens

Border Agent Alert

Poopception

Shoe Laces 101

White Out

Lord Of The Rinse

Snow Shield

Canadian Breakdancing

Ninja Raccoon

Newfie Steering Wheel Lock

Marriage Barrier

Redneck Wine Holder

Snow Wall

Cold One

Baby Chat

Window Cleaning On The Edge

Father Time Snowman

Back Pain

No Extras Massage

Gooooooooooogle Air

Hot Tub Hangups

Scenery Cut and Paste

Origin of the Whoopee Cushion

Better With A Beard