Vintage Birth Control

Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

A baby's laugh is an angel's voice. - Unknown

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say. - Will Cuppy

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds