Tylenol Ban

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Nature is cheaper than therapy. - M P Zarrella

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Words must surely be counted among the most powerful drugs man ever invented. - Leo Rosten

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. - Teri Garr

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

The paradigm of treating menopause symptoms with the lowest effective dose of hormone therapy, for the shortest period necessary, is very sensible. - Hugh Taylor