Twelve Doctors Screaming

Nurses are I.V. leaguers. - Unknown

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Nurses are angels in comfortable shoes. - Unknown

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue. - Virginia Woolf

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon