Twelve Doctors Screaming

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Nurses are the heart of healthcare. - Donna Wilk Cardillo

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense. - Beau M

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody. - Maya Angelou

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Pride causes us to use our gifts as though they came from ourselves, not benefits received from God, and to usurp our benefactor's glory. - Bernard of Clairvaux

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com