#1 humor site on the 'net

Trooper Tape

A little bit of electrical tape can make a day

Trooper Tape thanks to Keith Blake

How to turn a State Trooper into a State Pooper

QuotaBills
All people look better under arrest. - John Waters

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Suspicion often creates what it suspects. - C S Lewis

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper? - Princess Leia

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Police Station: A place where sleeping is all right in a pinch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

I took a physical for some life insurance. All they would give me was fire and theft. - Milton Berle

The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. - Oscar Wilde

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


Polar Bear Attack

Bottom Blast Car Wash

Air Meal

Starbucks Goes Extra Mile

Braided Mohawk

Just One More Glass

His First Hot Rod

Saskatchewan Roads

Pool Is Closed

Upended Water Buffalo

Do Not Touch Sign

Cold Beer

Grandma Safety

Partial Flight

Scenic View

Racewagon

Water Skier A-Head Of His Time

Owlympics Ice Skating

Shining Armor Knight

Smile For The Day

British Hairways

Cross Inspector

Morning Saving Time

Kangaroo On Ice