Tire Substitute

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. - Brian Mullin

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

Bedside manners are no substitute for the right diagnosis. - Alfred P. Sloan, Jr.

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Abdicate: 1. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach; 2. Strenuous labour. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

It's much easier to double your business by doubling your conversion rate than doubling your traffic. - Bryan Eisenberg

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat. - Unknown

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com