Tire Substitute

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Statistics are no substitute for judgement. - Henry Clay

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

A public-opinion poll is no substitute for thought. - Warren Buffett

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe. - Unknown

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

Bedside manners are no substitute for the right diagnosis. - Alfred P. Sloan, Jr.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a tire. - Roy Orbison

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides. - Margaret Thatcher

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. - George Santayana

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

I can change a diaper in 30 seconds flat. I set the new one beneath the old one. That way, it's just wipe and pull the flap over. - Drew Brees

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz