Tire Substitute

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

Power tires only those who do not have it. - Giulio Andreotti

Statistics are no substitute for judgement. - Henry Clay

There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar

Traffic Ticket: Finale of the policeman's bawl - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Spare Tire: The one you check after you have a flat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. - Brian Mullin

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman

Bedside manners are no substitute for the right diagnosis. - Alfred P. Sloan, Jr.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. - Will Rogers

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat. - Unknown

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

We make decisions based on what we think we know. It wasn't too long ago that the majority of people believed the world was flat. - Simon Sinek

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright