Tire Substitute

There is no substitute for victory. - Douglas MacArthur

I'm tire of getting made fun of. - Geraldo Rivera

There is no substitute for the Bible. - Henry Halley

A meeting is no substitute for progress. - Unknown

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe. - Unknown

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

Nothing encourages creativity like the chance to fall flat on one's face. - James D Finley

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts. - Charles Dickens

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a tire. - Roy Orbison

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

I can change a diaper in 30 seconds flat. I set the new one beneath the old one. That way, it's just wipe and pull the flap over. - Drew Brees

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt