This Cracks Me Up

I always wake up at the crack of ice. - Joe E Lewis

Tomato Paste: Used to fix broken pizza - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sharp are the arrows of a broken heart. - Cassandra Clare

The heart will break, but broken live on. - Lord Byron

God is closest to those with broken hearts. - Jewish Proverb

Love is a place for your heart to get broken. - Hector Schiller

His face was filled with broken commandments. - John Masefield

We're just sweeping dirty dishes under the rug. - Archie Bunker

The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks. - Tennessee Williams

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

For broken dreams, the cure is dream again; and deeper. - C S Lewis

God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces. - Unknown

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

It's hard asking someone with a broken heart to fall in love again. - Eric Kripke

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. - Ernest Hemingway

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Only time can heal your broken heart. Just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs. - Miss Piggy

Wise Husband: One who buys his wife such fine china she won't trust him to wash the dishes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown

You find out what you are made of when you have a broken heart. If it happens early and often, all the better. - Isabel Gillies

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. - Bernard Meltzer

So here's the thing with broken hearts. No matter how you try, the pieces never fit the way they did before. - Ariana Arianapoetess

I would like to thank Tetris for providing me with the skills to jam as many dishes as possibly into my dishwasher. - Herb Pankratz

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? - William Shakespeare

People can say what they like about the eternal verities, love and truth and so on, but nothing's as eternal as the dishes. - Margaret Mahy

A reputation, once damaged, may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was. - Joseph Hall

The remedy for life's broken pieces is not classes, workshops or books. Don't try to heal the broken pieces. Just forgive. - Iyanla Vanzant

When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace. - George Bernard Shaw

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it's the endings we're unprepared for. - Katherine Owen

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Steven Wright

Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again. - Dag Hammarskjold

Many promising reconciliations have broken down because while both parties come prepared to forgive, neither party come prepared to be forgiven. - Charles Williams

Behind my smile is a broken heart; behind my laugh I'm falling apart; behind my eyes are tears at night; behind my body is a soul trying to fight. - Unknown