This Cracks Me Up

Wise Crack: A comedian with a PHD - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

God is closest to those with broken hearts. - Jewish Proverb

When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge. - Unknown

The bow too tensely strung is easily broken. - Publius Syrus

Love is a place for your heart to get broken. - Hector Schiller

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

We're just sweeping dirty dishes under the rug. - Archie Bunker

The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks. - Tennessee Williams

I'd rather have a broken arm than a broken heart. - Christie Brinkley

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light. - Groucho Marx

A heart can be broken, but it will keep beating just the same. - Fannie Flagg

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken. - Albert Camus

There isn't a record in existence that hasn't been broken. - Chay Blyth

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Hod: (Southern) Not easy. Usage: 'A broken hot is hod to fix.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. - Warren Buffett

It is strange how often a heart must be broken before the years can make it wise. - Sara Teasdale

No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief. - Faraaz Kazi

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Every time your heart is broken, a doorway cracks open to a world full of new opportunities. - Patti Roberts

I wish I were a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. - Julia Roberts

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown

Happy the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying, once and for all. - Ovid

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. - Joan Rivers

So here's the thing with broken hearts. No matter how you try, the pieces never fit the way they did before. - Ariana Arianapoetess

I would like to thank Tetris for providing me with the skills to jam as many dishes as possibly into my dishwasher. - Herb Pankratz

A broken heart is just the growing pains necessary so that you can love more completely when the real thing comes along. - J S B Morse

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

Is not your voice broken, your wind short, your chin double, your wit single, and every part about you blasted with antiquity? - William Shakespeare

People can say what they like about the eternal verities, love and truth and so on, but nothing's as eternal as the dishes. - Margaret Mahy

A reputation, once damaged, may possibly be repaired, but the world will always keep their eyes on the spot where the crack was. - Joseph Hall

When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace. - George Bernard Shaw

There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it's the endings we're unprepared for. - Katherine Owen