The Original Smart Phone

Tarnished Lady: One that is not bright - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

I did not have 3,000 pairs of shoes. I had 1,060. - Imelda Marcos

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. - Tina Fey

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying. - Unknown

Ceremony: The invention of wise men to keep fools at a distance - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Quarterback: What you'll never get if you misdial from a pay phone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent

Clown Shoes: Any item, person, or organization that can not be taken seriously - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The sunshine of life is made up of very little beams that are bright all the time. - Dr. John Aiken

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

I walk around like everything if fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Unknown

It is worth a thousand pounds a year to have the habit of looking on the bright side of things. - Samuel Johnson

Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright. - Laurell K Hamilton

E-mails are letters, after all, more lasting than phone calls, even if many of them r 2 cursory 4 u. - Anna Quindlen

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot. - Phyllis Diller

You learn how to be book smart in school, but you better not forget that you also need to be street smart. - Harvey Mackay

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. - Doug Larson

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Like a morning dream, life becomes more and more bright the longer we live, and the reason of everything appears more clear. - Jean Paul Richter

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

There is not less wit, not less invention, in applying rightly a thought one finds in a book, than in being the first author of that book. - Pierre Boyle