#1 humor site on the 'net

The Original Smart Phone

First sign of KAOS in telephone technology

The Original Smart Phone thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Bumbling Maxwell Smart (Max Perry), Agent 86 for CONTROL, with help from his partner Agent 99, battles the forces of KAOS

QuotaBills
Nurses are angels in comfortable shoes. - Unknown

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

Home is an invention on which no one has yet improved. - Ann Douglas

You're not too smart, are you? I like that in a man. - Kathleen Turner

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

He that waits for a dead man's shoes may long go barefoot. - French Proverb

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - James Thurber

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. - Doug Larson

I'm no genius. I'm smart in spots but I stay around those spots. - Thomas J Watson

Forgiveness provides hope, joy, and a bright future that nothing else can. - Paul J Meyer

It is not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer. - Albert Einstein

That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to use one of them? - Rutherford B. Hayes

Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time it's in your hand. - Unknown

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

A gorilla with a cellphone riding a bicycle is bound to generate some clever captions. - Steve Breen

It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer. - Albert Einstein

I walk around like everything if fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Unknown

It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe. - Muhammad Ali

It is worth a thousand pounds a year to have the habit of looking on the bright side of things. - Samuel Johnson

Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright. - Laurell K Hamilton

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. - Alan Dundes

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

If there's a bright centre to the universe, you're on the planet that it's farthest from. - Luke Skywalker

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. - Doug Larson

However brilliant an action may be, it should not be accounted great when it is not the result of a great purpose. - Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? - Stephen Levine

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Lawyers are like unrequited lovers: you give them an inch, and they go for the whole nine yards; you take off one shoe, and they pull down your pants. - Andres Rueda


Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem

Plumber's Night Light

Can I Lick The Bowl

Redneck Shelves

Google Classic

In Touch Today

Delicious Grief

Amplified Beer

How to Twerk at Work

$383.00 Paint Job

Wine Time Finally

Scooter Hearse

Thailand Ferry

Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter