The Original Smart Phone

The wearer knows best where the shoe pinches. - Spanish Proverb

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. - George Carlin

You don't have to be perfect to be brilliant. - Mark Eyre

The key to winning is to be brilliant at the basics. - Vince Lombardi

Home is an invention on which no one has yet improved. - Ann Douglas

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. - Tina Fey

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. - Doug Larson

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

A bright person can always think of something better to do than housework. - Ruby Lou Barnhill

Most of life's great moments happen when your phone is in your pocket. - Unknown

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

It is not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer. - Albert Einstein

She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer. - Gail Parent

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly. - Demetri Martin

Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius. - Matthew McConaughey

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Good marketing makes the company look smart. Great marketing makes the customer feel smart. - Joe Chernov

The ballet toe shoe is one of the few instruments of torture to survive intact into our time. - Unknown

Don't criticize what you don't understand, son. You never walked in that man's shoes. - Elvis Presley

Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright. - Laurell K Hamilton

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. - Alan Dundes

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

It makes you wonder. All the brilliant things we might have done with our lives if only we suspected we knew how. - Ann Patchett

If we don't redouble our efforts to increase incentives for invention, this country's going to lose its edge. - Dean Kamen

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

There is not less wit, not less invention, in applying rightly a thought one finds in a book, than in being the first author of that book. - Pierre Boyle