#1 humor site on the 'net

The Empress

Victoria, B.C. harbour on a typical beautiful summer day

The Empress thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Canada is hockey. - Mike Weir

Canada was built on dead beavers. - Margaret Atwood

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

Canada and space are a natural fit. - Marc Garneau

I look at Canada like a second home. - Prince Andrew

I get to go to overseas places, like Canada. - Britney Spears

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

A Canadian is somebody who can make love in a canoe. - Margaret Lally

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. - Robin Williams

Canada is the homeland of equality, justice and tolerance. - Kim Campbell

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

You have to know a man awfully well in Canada to know his surname. - John Buchan

If you call ham "Canadian bacon", what do you call bacon? - Michael Kelso

I love Canadians because I don't see very much racism in Canada. - Patti LaBelle

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

Canada is the only country founded on the relentless pursuit of the rodent. - Preston Manning

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

As far as single payer, it works in Canada. It works incredibly well in Scotland. - Donald Trump

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

Canada is the only country in the world that knows how to live without an identity. - Marshall McLuhan

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. - Jonathan Katz

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. - Unknown

Canada is a good country to be from. It has a gentler slower pace - it lends perspective. - Paul Anka

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

South Africa is the most beautiful country I have been to. Canada is also hugely underrated. - Honor Blackman

St. Teresa of Avila described our life in this world as like a night at a second-class hotel. - Malcolm Muggeridge

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia. - Margaret Atwood

Make no mistake. Canada is not a bilingual country. In fact it is less bilingual today than it has ever been. - Stephen Harper

Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers. - Jamie Farr

I was born in Canada for a reason. It was because my parents wanted me to have the freedoms that this country offers. - Patrick Chan

The nice thing about being detained in Canada is it's like being in a Days Inn; it's very clean and very nice. - Bill Ayers

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

Let me put it this way. Canada is not so much a country as a holding tank filled with the disgruntled progeny of defeated peoples. - Mordecai Richler

I have a maple leaf tattoo over my heart, quite literally, and my two favorite things on Earth are being in Canada and making movies. - Jay Baruchel

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas


One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener