#1 humor site on the 'net

SwimChair Man

Swimming pool safety for daredevil Redneck high-divers

SwimChair Man thanks to Shawn Kennedy

Rectum? Darned near killed him!

QuotaBills
Too clever is dumb. - Ogden Nash

Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

You will never get lessons on swimming from a drowning man. - Unknown

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

You should not paint the chair, but only what someone has felt about it. - Edvard Munch

I have spent most of my life playing pool. The rest of it, I have wasted. - Unknown

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious. - Ruth Reichl

Committee work is like a soft chair - easy to get into but hard to get out of. - Kenneth J Shively

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast

Motorcycle Campers

Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie

Wheelchair Mower

How To Fail at Photoshopping Pictures

Life Expectancy by Age

Construction Clouds

It's Been A Good Day

Worst Aid

Dyslexic Camper

Moon Filament

Car Dirt Art

Newfie Swimming Pool

Stoned Sign

Redneck Plumbers

Someone Stole A Cracker

Moose Pedestrian