#1 humor site on the 'net

Sonic Straw

Free with extra drink purchase

Sonic Straw thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Drink to me. - Pablo Picasso

I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

Come quickly, I am drinking the stars. - Dom Perignon

A drowning man will clutch at a straw. - Sir Thomas More

Water is the only drink for a wise man. - Henry David Thoreau

I drink to make other people interesting. - Groucho Marx

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off. - Unknown

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

He drained the cup of God's wrath bone dry, leaving not a drop for us to drink. - Richard A Bodey

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food. I don't even know where Sandwiches live. - Bill Murray

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Some lawyers are like unto the camel, which, before drinking out of a brook, maketh the water turbid with his foot. - Adolphus W Ward

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

Every time you use the word 'healthy,' you lose. The key is to make yummy, delicious food that happens to be healthy. - Marcus Samuelsson

I like a well-roasted rotisserie chicken and eggs cooked various ways like sunny-side up or scrambled. It's comfort food for me. - Joel Robuchion

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Kung Fu Driver

Ford Quadricycle

Redneck Hayride

Ice Boat

Atom Trust

Electricity Storage

Be Patient

Can Never Have Too Many Tools

Roller Blade Heels

Pedal Car Mechanic

Winterpeg Warm

Box Biker

Ice Hockey Meltdown

Swingers

Patience and Wisdom

Hippo Race

Tank Top Security

Bus Office

I Lost My Job With Lifeline

Wet Rain

Boo Pumpkin

Downspout

Sausage Cat

Plastic Bottle Beach Art