Software Wizard

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. - Stephen Fry

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware. - Alan Kay

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC. - Andy Grove

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright