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Software Wizard

How Gandalf the Grey turned grey

Software Wizard thanks to Morris Paschold

The computerholic in The Lord of the Rings

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Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

We don't need nukes. We have the internet. - Alice Minium

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Immunity to boredom gives the computer an edge. - Alan Lakein

Real Soon Now: When the software will be shipped - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Ecrastinate: Checking your e-mail just one more time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Learning by doing, peer-to-peer teaching, and computer simulation are all part of the same equation. - Nicholas Negroponte

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

The day I made that statement, about inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the camcorder. - Al Gore

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

Cell phones, mobile e-mail, and all the other cool and slick gadgets can cause massive losses in our creative output and overall productivity. - Robin S Sharma

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco


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