Software Wizard

The computer is a moron. - Peter F Drucker

Defect-free software does not exist. - Wietse Venema

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

The internet is a great way to get on the net. - Bob Dole

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

People will believe anything they read on the internet. - Abraham Lincoln

Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet. - Will Ferrell

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. - Alan Perlis

The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it. - John P Barlow

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I almost sent you a real birthday card but thankfully my internet connection came back. - Unknown

Internet: The best library in the world, but with all its books strewn across the floor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life. - Andrew Brown

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

People enjoy the interaction on the internet, and the feeling of belonging to a group that does something interesting. - Linus Torvalds

The new information technology (Internet and e-mail) have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications. - Peter F Drucker

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 2,000 MPG. - Bill Gates

From sixdegrees to Friendster to Facebook, social networking has become a familiar and ubiquitous part of the Internet. - David Kirkpatrick

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

Boat Anchor: 1. Thrown out when you need it, and taken in when you don't; 2. An old computer so useless that it needs to go to sea. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The majority of people who don't have Internet don't have the Internet because they don't know why they want to use the Internet. - Mark Zuckerberg

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney