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Smirnoff Women

We don't serve women here - you have to bring your own

Smirnoff Women thanks to Frank Howard

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Women's word is never done. - American Proverb

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

Taking joy in life is a woman's best cosmetic. - Rosalind Russell

America is a land where men govern, but women rule. - John M Brown

Women would not be prostitutes if it were not for men. - Baroness Vickers

A woman's always younger than a man of equal years. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. - Groucho Marx

A great city is that which has the greatest men and women. - Walt Whitman

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Some say women are addicted to chocolate. I say we're merely loyal. - Cathy Guisewite

The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40. - Unknown

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


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