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Smirnoff Women

We don't serve women here - you have to bring your own

Smirnoff Women thanks to Frank Howard

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Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Dull women have immaculate homes. - Unknown

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Woman was God's second mistake. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

When women go wrong, men go right after them. - Mae West

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. - Oscar Wilde

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

Women like silent men, they think they're listening. - George Carlin

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

He has a woman's name and wears makeup. How original. - Alice Cooper

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it. - Esai Morales

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

She's loaded with this, waddya call, women's intermission. - Archie Bunker

No one but a woman in love ever sees the maximum of men's greatness. - Anais Nin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Beauty is the first present nature gives to a woman and the first it takes away. - Fay Weldon

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat. - Oscar Wilde

Enthusiasm is a vital element toward the individual success of every man or woman. - Conrad Hilton

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman. - Virginia Woolf

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman. - Woody Allen

No woman is worth more than a fiver unless you're in love with her. Then she is worth all she costs you. - W Somerset Maugham

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. - Anais Nin

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


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