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Smirnoff Women

We don't serve women here - you have to bring your own

Smirnoff Women thanks to Frank Howard

QuotaBills
What do women want? - Sigmund Freud

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

A man thinks he knows, but a woman knows better. - Indian Proverb

All women are crazy, it's only a question of degree. - WC Fields

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. - Woodrow Wyatt

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Surely a pretty woman never looks prettier than when making tea. - Mary E. Braddon

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

The three words every woman really longs to hear: I'll clean up. - Molly Shannon

Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. - Dr. Phil McGraw

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be made at me for saying that. - Mitch Hedberg

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. - Oscar Wilde

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Never try to impress a woman because if you do, you'll have to keep up that standard the rest of your life. - WC Fields

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

A woman with confidence is hypnotic. A smile is mesmerizing. Presence, openness, a sense of humor - these are all things that make a woman attractive. - Jessica Ortner


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