Sic 'Em Bears

Support the right to arm bears. - Unknown

Human kind cannot bear very much reality. - T S Eliot

My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen

Victor: Your football team's weekly opponent - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pedestrian: a man whose son is home from college. - Unknown

I'd rather write about polar bears than people. - Mary Oliver

He who cannot bear misfortune is truly unfortunate. - Greek Proverb

Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing. - Bette Midler

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Unless you bear with the faults of others, you betray your own. - Pubilius Syrus

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot

It is often hard to bear the tears that we ourselves have caused. - Marcel Proust

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted by nature to bear. - Marcus Aurelius

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education. - Theodore Roosevelt

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

College Education: A four-year plan for confusing a young mind methodically. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller

He who has a "why" to live, can bear with almost any "how". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis

To bear other people's afflictions, everyone has courage and enough to spare. - Benjamin Franklin

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

The chief aim of wisdom is to enable one to bear with the stupidity of the ignorant. - Winston Churchill

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell

Sometimes I question my sanity, but the unicorn and gummy bears told me I'm fine! - Muppets

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

Forgive, forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. - Phillips Brooks

Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. - Robert G. Ingersoll

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time he finishes college. - Sargent Shriver

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those that never happen. - James Russel Lowell

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently. - Palladas

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those that will never happen. - James Russell Lowell

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust. - Diogenes

We deem those happy who, from the experience of life, have learned to bear its ills, without being overcome by them. - Juvenal

Malenutrition: The practice of depriving a man from food for more than a couple of hours - or during a football game - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain. - Henry David Thoreau

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds