#1 humor site on the 'net

Shopping With Your Husband

Does he crimp your style at the shopping mall, ladies?

Shopping With Your Husband thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Tailor Shop: Last of the big-time menders - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

Do you Edith....take Archie Bunker to be your lawfully bedded husband? - Archie Bunker

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow's next husband. - American Proverb

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. - Groucho Marx

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller


Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim