Shopping With Your Husband

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Her husband was infidelicate with another woman. - Archie Bunker

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

Do you Edith....take Archie Bunker to be your lawfully bedded husband? - Archie Bunker

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. - Groucho Marx

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer