Shopping Wait-er

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Racing is life. Everything else is just... waiting. - Steve McQueen

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Between the wish and the thing the world lies waiting. - Cormac McCarthy

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Patience is not simply the ability to wait - it's how we behave while we're waiting. - Joyce Meyer

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. - Dale Turner

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. - Barack Obama

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon