#1 humor site on the 'net

Self-Propelled Rocket

Waiting for the smoke to catch up to the propane bottle

Self-Propelled Rocket thanks to Brad Sherman

Puff and Go
Some scooter rides start slow and end up at rocket speed

QuotaBills
Courage is fire, and bullying is smoke. - Benjamin Disraeli

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. - William Shakespeare

She caught a touch of laryngosis from the smoke. - Archie Bunker

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. - Fletcher Knebel

Smoking means always having to say you're sorry. - Tom Ferguson

Love is an exploding cigar that you willingly smoke. - Lynda Barry

When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself. - Bob Marley

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. - Rudyard Kipling

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. - Mark Twain

I'm suffering a little bit from smoke exhilaration. - Archie Bunker

Everybody has an addiction, mine happens to be success. - Drake

Leave off all thin potations and addict thyself to sack. - William Shakespeare

If I have one addiction in life, it's probably food. - Liam Hemsworth

The wheelchair symbolizes disability in a way a cane does not. - Annette Funicello

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

The Wright Brothers flew through the smoke screen of impossibility. - Dorothea Brande

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. - Mark Twain

The Sputnik is just to me like a firework, a rocket, a new invention. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

It has been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. - Mark Twain

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

Smoking kills. And if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people. - Unknown

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. - Mark Twain

It was really strange to see all these apes standing around eating popcorn, smoking, wearing sunglasses. - Estella Warren

My disability exists not because I use a wheelchair, but because the broader environment isn't accessible. - Stella Young

Busyness functions like an addiction. When you stop, you have to face your thoughts, which terrifies most of us. - Thibaut

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

Mason took in enough cannabis smoke to allow a Lipan Apache manipulating a blanket over it to transmit the complete works of Tennyson. - Richard Condon

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

I definitely believe marijuana helps with menstruation. Since I started smoking pot, my girlfriend’s period has become painless for me. - Randy Kagan

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell


Tip Generator

Waiting For Windows To Boot

So Close

Pork Chops

Brazilian Covid

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Nothing Wrong Picture

Cook Ring

Zipperhead

Politicians Be Like

Bridge Uplift

Beach Drag

Do Not Feed The Bears

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

A Woman's Mind

Spaghetti Starter

Sidewalk Pickpocket

Wing Wedding

Relaxing Surgery

Fish Injuries

Nuclear Waste Truck

Rock Watcher

Frog Waltz

Filling The Water Truck