Russian Windshield Wiper

Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it. - Unknown

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. - Warren Buffett

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. - Dolly Parton

Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. - Byrd Baggett

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Some days you're the bug. Some days you're the windshield. - Price Cobb

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people. - Warren Buffett

Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit. - Hosea Ballou

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Indian people, we are proud of our cheapness. You are never gonna insult us by calling us cheap. - Russell Peters

HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Give me a guitar, give me a piano, give me a broom and string, I wouldn't get bored anywhere. - Keith Richards

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com