Royals Leave Hospital

Cleopatra: Queen of denial. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

Don King is a big ... thief, and everyone in this room knows it. - Donald Trump

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n roll, but I am the queen. - Little Richard

Martin Luther King did not say, 'I have a mission statement.' - Simon Sinek

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

He played the King in the game of life
But someone played the ace. - Gerald Barzan

Martin Luther King took us to the mountaintop; I want to take us to the bank. - Don King

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

My favourite characters in the Bible are King David, Delilah and Charlton Heston. - Milton Berle

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a King. - Elizabeth I

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Playing Shakespeare is so tiring. You never get a chance to sit down unless you're a king. - Josephine Hull

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

The Kingdom of France will be thus ruled by King Charles VII... He will enter Paris in good company. - Joan of Arc

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

I'm a games and theory king of guy. I love puzzles, so it was fun dissecting Shakespeare's prose. - Neil Patrick Harris

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

Miracle: An act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king. - Ambrose Bierce