Redneck TV Tray

Zombies hate fast food. - Unknown

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. - Fred Allen

Television has been the single greatest shaper of emptiness. - Ravi Zacharias

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

It's very nearly impossible to tell the truth in television. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare. - Fred Allen

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Siliwood: The coming convergence of movies, interactive TV and computers - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

More people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting. - Stephen Covey

When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back. - Robin Williams

To eat well, I always disagree with critics who say that all restaurants should be fine dining. You can get a Michelin star if you serve the best hamburger in the world. - David Chang

I know that we shall meet problems along the way, but I'd far rather see for myself what's going on in the world outside, than rely on newspapers, television, politicians and religious leaders to tell me what I should be thinking. - Michael Palin

First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII - and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure. - Douglas Adams