Redneck TV Tray

Fishing Show: Reel-life TV. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The vertizontal hold on the TV. - Archie Bunker

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

In television blood is thicker than talent. - Gerald F Lieberman

When I was your age, television was called books. - William Goldman

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop. - Mark Zuckerberg

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Nothing is really real unless it happens on television. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Babysitters: Girls you hire to watch your television set. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Television has been the single greatest shaper of emptiness. - Ravi Zacharias

Let's bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow. - Homer Simpson

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we've got television. - Archie Bunker

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

Cash Flow: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2. - David Coleman

Television was not intended to make human beings vacuous, but it is an emanation of their vacuity. - Malcolm Muggeridge

TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public. - Douglas Coupland

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

If you liberals keep gettin' your way - we're all gonna hear one big loud flush. The sound of the U.S. of A. goin' straight down the toilet. - Archie Bunker

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One. - Yakov Smirnoff

When I find out a hotel doesn't have a DSL, it's like "What? There's no toilet?" Once you get used to high speed you ain't going back. - Robin Williams

You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and the let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something. - Mitch Hedberg

Nowadays they say you need a special chip to put in the TV so kids can't watch this and that. In my day, we didn't need a chip. My mom was the chip. End of story. - Ray Charles

NASA asked me to create meals for the space shuttle. Thai chicken was the favorite. I flew in a fake space shuttle, but I have no desire to go into space after seeing the toilet. - Rachael Ray

'Antiques Roadshow' is my favorite show. Every Monday night I have one hour of appointment television. I get the popcorn out and tell my husband, 'Don't bother me.' - Lara Spencer

When videotape came so a lot of movies that I do have a kind of afterlife in video. Things where movies that I do would come and go; they still come and go but you can go rent them and see them on TV. - Christopher Walken

First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII - and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure. - Douglas Adams