#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Stick Family

You've got your family, I've got mine

Redneck Stick Family thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

Writers will happen in the best of families. - Rita Mae Brown

A thankful heart is the parent of all virtues. - Cicero

The rich man has more relations than he knows. - French Proverb

There's nobody stronger than a single parent. - Unknown

Guns have only two enemies - rust and politicians. - Unknown

Leading your family is a lot tougher than basketball. - Giannis Antetokounmpo

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. - Jesus Christ

Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde

Shooting Star: A famous actor who uses his gun too often - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

Some men by ancestry are only the shadow of a mighty name. - Etheridge Knight

Do not remove the ancient landmark that your ancestors set up. - Bible

Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt. - Herbert Hoover

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Kidnapping: The short snatches of rest a parent gets when baby sleeps - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

You can't choose your ancestors, and neither can your descendants. - Unknown

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

The meek may inherit the earth, but it's the grumpy who get promoted. - Father Mulcahy

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Those who inherit fortunes are often more troublesome than those who make them. - African Saying

If we stand tall, it's because we stand on the shoulders of many ancestors. - Unknown

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures. - Daniel Webster

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. - Daniel J. Boorstin

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary. - Thomas Paine

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. - Hodding S. Carter

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

We are driven by five genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. - William Glasser

Like trying a man's finger for having pulled the trigger of a gun which murdered someone. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it. - Kin Hubbard

We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

Families are like puzzles. They fit together in a certain way, and if one piece is missing, it throws everything off. - Richard Schiff

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P G Wodehouse

We split from our common ancestor with the octopus half a billion years ago. And yet, you can make friends with an octopus. - Sy Montgomery

Mule: 1. An animal that is stubbornly backward about going forward; 2. An animal who boasts that his ancestors were horses. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim

What ya eat ain't got nuttin' to do with how old ya are. That all depends on your ancestors. It's what they call a matter of heresy. - Archie Bunker

A man finds room in the few square inches of the face for the traits of all his ancestors; for the expression of all his history, and his wants. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our ancestors ... possessed a right, which nature has given to all men, of departing from the country in which chance, not choice has placed them. - Thomas Jefferson

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives. - Maya Angelou

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


Redneck Combo Plumbing

Parking Squeeze

Tree Barking

Elephant Sunset

TP Safety

Locked Up Bull Elk

Duck Crossing

Peeping Snake

Hydro Water Power

Cutting Edge Delivery

Baby Scan

Redneck Mirror

Skateboard Statue

WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light