Redneck Speed Bump
Don't step on the line!
Fun and safety go hand in hand in a Redneck neighborhood
QuotaBillsKhaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead! - David Farragut
Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams
Speed is life. Altitude is life insurance. - Unknown
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
Walter Mondale has all the charisma of a speed bump. - Will Durst
Know your lines and don't bump into the furniture. - Spencer Tracy
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne
What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams
It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh
Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson
A great athlete does not come from muscle, speed, and skill, but from the mind first. - Dan E. Welker
The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love
Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. - Elizabeth Gilbert
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Living in the past is a dull and lonely business; looking back strains the neck muscles, causes you to bump into people not going your way. - Edna Ferber
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com