#1 humor site on the 'net

RainWear

I wish I could find something to keep dry with...

RainWear thanks to Lois Carey

Finding a good use for an umbrella

QuotaBills
Into the sky to win or die. - Christopher Paolini

Women hold up half the sky. - Mao Zedong

The sky already fell. Now what? - Steven Wright

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

If the sky falls, hold up your hands. - Spanish proverb

Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. - Maya Angelou

I love the smell of rain and growing things. - Serina Hernandez

It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. - Howard Ruff

Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet. - Roger Miller

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

If you don't ride in the rain, you don't ride. - Unknown

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

Rain is the one thing the British do better than anybody else. - Marilyn French

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain. - Unknown

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. - George Carlin

Rivers in the United States are so polluted that acid rain makes them cleaner. - Andrew Malcolm

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more trees. - George Eliot

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. - Langston Hughes

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain. - Vivian Greene

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

From where we stand the rain seems random. If we could stand somewhere else, we would see the order in it. - Tony Hillerman

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise. - Paula Poundstone

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

I had fried octopus last night. You have to be really quiet when you eat it. Otherwise, it emits a cloud of black smoke and falls on the floor. - Steven Wright

The rain of Madre de Dios is similar to that of the Amazon, but there is a petrifying aspect to it, as if it seeks to wound rather than to nurture. - Tahir Shah


Breadlace

I Think I'll Hold It

Instant Coffee Tragedy

Cow Camouflage

Room For Two

Neandertallica

Key-o-Saurus

Pure Maple Syrup

Dentist Drill

Wife Consumption

Dog Proctologist

Vintage Birth Control

Used Cows For Sale

Stylish Butcher

Greek Financial Path

God Gives Restaurant

Rubik's Cube Puzzle-Meant

Modern Printing Press

Frequent FlyHair

Geek Breakfast

Art School Graduate

Maid Confusion

Stowaway Soccer Fan

Crossed Paths