Prepared Cyclist

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you plan to stop pedaling. - Claude Pepper

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

People are often quite surprised by the sport and leisure activities practised by the blind. For example, tandem cycling is very popular. - Andrea Bocelli

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster