Ordnance Table

Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. - Jules de Gaultier

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? - Mae West

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Prose is a museum, where all the old weapons of poetry are kept. - T.E. Hulme

A conquering army on the border will not be stopped by eloquence. - Otto von Bismarck

Guns don't kill people. Dads with pretty daughters kill people. - Unknown

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

When I take a gun in hand, the safest place for a pheasant is just opposite the muzzle. - Sydney Smith

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

The guns and the bombs, the rockets and the warships, are all symbols of human failure. - Lyndon B Johnson

A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator. - Homer Simpson

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed. - Joseph Stalin

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. - Albert Einstein

Humour is the weapon of unarmed people: it helps people who are oppressed to smile at the situation that pains them. - Simon Wiesenthal

Only think of two things - the gun and the tape. When you hear the one, just run like hell until you break the other. - Sam Mussabini

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Lord Grey of Falloden

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present. - Marcus Aurelius

I'd love to see Christ come back to crush the spirit of hate and make men put down their guns. I'd also like just one more hit single. - Tiny Tim