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On Guard!

Clash of the kitchen knives

On Guard! thanks to Keith Blake

Trojan armor saves the day

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Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Eyebrows: What I do when I go shopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Noise creates illusions. Silence brings truth. - Maxime Lagace

Don't dig your grave with a knife and fork. - English Proverb

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

There's something fundamentally wrong with bringing a knife to a gun fight. - Sean Connery

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. - Billy Connolly

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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