#1 humor site on the 'net

Not Haunted House Sales

How to stand out from other Real Estate professionals

Not Haunted House Sales thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Not Haunted House Sales thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Choosing a safe neighbourhood for your next house purchase

QuotaBills
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Now I know what a ghost is. Unfinished business. - Salman Rushdie

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

The only way you can become a legend is in your coffin. - Bette Davis

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Take care of your costume and your confidence will take care of itself. - Amit Kalantri

You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. - Zig Ziglar

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I never really address myself to any image anybody has of me. That's like fighting with ghosts. - Sally Field

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good one are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse