#1 humor site on the 'net

North of Somewhere

How to determine directions to anywhere but North

North of Somewhere thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
My first occupation was to map the country. - John Hanning Speke

Somewhere there is a map of how it can be done. - Ben Stein

"Go west," like Horace Greenberg said. - Archie Bunker

The greatest failure of the West since the 1930s. - Richard Holbrooke

To stay on the map you've got to keep showing up. - Peter Gallagher

The needle of our conscience is as good a compass as any. - Ruth Wolff

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

The first thing that put me on the map was my Sherlock Holmes novel. - Nicholas Meyer

Truth lies within a little and certain compass, but error is immense. - Henry St. John

East is East and West is West, but none of us is gonna meet Mark Twain. - Archie Bunker

I've never had a clear road map. When things come along, I benefit. - Greg Kinnear

Research is the historical novelist's map, constraint, and purest energy. - Donald McCaig

Satellite imagery is the only way we can map the looting patterns effectively. - Sarah Parcak

I have an existential map; it has "you are here" written all over it. - Steven Wright

Maybe I'm a serial regional writer. First here, then there, across the map. - Richard Ford

I'm kinda disapointed that Canada isn't like the South Park movie said it was. - Joel Madden

I like the map feature on the iPhone that tells me where I am, because I travel a lot. - Gary Shteyngart

All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination. - Earl Nightingale

Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life. - Les Brown

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one way; wisdom is looking in both directions anyway. - Albert Einstein

I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary

We laid the track on a smooth stretch of ground about one hundred feet north of the new building. - Orville Wright

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I travel without barely any luggage. Just a second set of underwear and binoculars and a map and a toothbrush. - Werner Herzog

It's impossible to map out a route to your destination if you don't know where you're starting from. - Suze Orman

A place that doesn't welcome tourists, that's really difficult and off the map, is a place I want to see. - Paul Theroux

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

Our brain is mapping the world. Often that map is distorted, but it's a map with constant immediate sensory input. - E.O. Wilson

The USA demanding that North Korea halt its nuclear program is akin to the fox demanding that the hens open their coup. - Steven Magee

My idea is to make moves to bring chess back to the world's map, to make it part of the world's geography again. - Anatoly Karpov

Toward the north, from there shone Frederick, the North Star, around whom Germany, Europe, even the world seemed to turn. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

If one looks at the map of the world, it's difficult to find Iraq, and one would think it rather easy to subdue such a small country. - Vladimir Putin

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

Anytime I feel lost, I pull out a map and stare. I stare until I have reminded myself that life is a giant adventure, so much to do, to see. - Angelina Jolie

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison


Beethoven's Teacher

Coke's Special Ingredients

Weather Warning

Freedom At Last

Ebola Can Be Eaten

Open Face Sandwich

Busted Politician

Balanced Diet

African Wheelbarrow

Drain Swimmer

Just In Thyme

Tie Wrap Bumper

Mexican Salad Dressing

Leaning Bookshelves

Shrunk Jeep

Quarantine Garden

Casualty Way

Painfull Skydive

You Are Grounded

Discrimination

Mountain Flock

Tea Bait

One Of Those Days

Nanosecond Moments