#1 humor site on the 'net

Night Watch

Definitely time for Changing the Guard at Buckingham Palace

Night Watch thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Sleep is the best meditation. - Dalai Lama

It is not death that alarms me, but dying. - Michel De Montaigne

Don't give up on your dreams - keep sleeping. - Unknown

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - WC Fields

Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others. - H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don't go back to sleep. - Rumi

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. - Albert Camus

One cannot think well, love well and sleep well if one has not dined well. - Virginia Woolf

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death. - Leonardo da Vinci

Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. - William Blake

Plough deep while sluggards sleep, and you shall have corn to sell and to keep. - Benjamin Franklin

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. - Dalai Lama

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. - Jonathan S Foer

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. - Dave Barry

I always sleep with one shoe in my hand to put out any fires I may accidentally ignite. - Gene Fowler

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

The game is played not to protect the rules; rather, the rules are made to protect the game. - Ravi Zacharias

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. - Unknown

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. - Mark Twain

Enthusiasm is the best protection in any situation. Wholeheartedness is contagious. Give yourself if you wish to get others. - David Seabury

We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall

Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow. - Mark Twain

When you wake up in the morning, you have two choices: go back to sleep and dream your dreams, or wake up and chase those dreams. - Unknown

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness. - George Sand


One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener