#1 humor site on the 'net

Night Watch

Definitely time for Changing the Guard at Buckingham Palace

Night Watch thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Astronomer: Night watchman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you've got a talent, protect it. - Jim Carrey

Those who trade liberty for security have neither. - John Adams

Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera. - James Stephens

How you make your bed is how you are going to sleep. - Greek Proverb

Bread: 1. Rises without ever sleeping; 2. Raw toast. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. - Wilson Mizner

Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything else you do. - Unknown

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. - Albert Camus

Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. - William Blake

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

It is true greatness to have in one the frailty of a man and the security of a god. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I always sleep with one shoe in my hand to put out any fires I may accidentally ignite. - Gene Fowler

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek

Telegram: A form of correspondence sent by a man in a hurry and delivered by a boy in sleep - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The game is played not to protect the rules; rather, the rules are made to protect the game. - Ravi Zacharias

3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep... the other wants to know if penguins have knees. - Unknown

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. - Ambrose Bierce

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. - Mark Twain

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

Accountant: 1. A noble insect; 2. A dutiful book balancer whose role within a corporation is to protect it from creative ideas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When you wake up in the morning, you have two choices: go back to sleep and dream your dreams, or wake up and chase those dreams. - Unknown

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas

There is no other way to guard yourself against flattery than by making men understand that telling you the truth will not offend you. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

That we are not much sicker and much madder than we are is due exclusively to that most blessed and blessing of all natural graces, sleep. - Aldous Huxley

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness. - George Sand


Dead Batteries

Frozen Fish

How Do You Spell L-U-C-K-Y?

Stretch Line - Down To The Wire

Milkshake Diet

Bicycle Logging

Texas 4 Months Apart

Flat Tire Repair

Double Error Message

Redneck Candle

Tenacity

Better Call Saul

Hair Notes

Gold Silk Fabric

Orthodox Weapon

Chanukah Special

Engine-eous

Real Life Photoshop

Future Truck

Fill The Tank

Corset Bound

Hillbilly Overalls

Fitness On The Bus

The Original Smart Phone