#1 humor site on the 'net

Neighborhood Watch

Choosing an environmentally-friendly security alarm system

Neighborhood Watch thanks to Keith Blake

Fighting criminal elements in third world countries

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Even snakes are afraid of snakes. - Steven Wright

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I would uphold the law if for no other reason but to protect myself. - Thomas More

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

If Adam and Eve were alive today, they would probably sue the snake. - Bern Williams

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. - Mark Twain

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

In a world of complex threats, our security and leadership depends on all elements of our power - including strong and principled diplomacy. - Barack Obama

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Wrap Around Tree

Take The Bus Home

Bent Car Sculpture

International Truck Bed

Strong Man

Snowbound Train

Not Without A Washer

Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Washing Machine Cat

Ruined Bacon

Kellogg's Fire

Tip Discount

Staff Meeting

Prince Bag

Ice Cream Clouds

Sun Dial Fail

Rolling Stop

Ghetto Hammock

Cooking For Guys

Walkies

Ultimate Border Control Protection

Note Flasher

Lineup For Dinner

Do Nothing Day